Positive Reflection

Starting my reflection on a specific event of this fellowship, I will firstly share my experience of university. It was starting day of my university. I was sitting in the classroom with a class fellow who became know to me within two days of university because he is also from my area. So as accordingly, initial classes are starting with our short introduction. So this class also started with introducing all of ourselves in front of the whole class. So that guy sitting beside me call me said “Hamza, my condition is going very bad” I asked him why and he replied that he is not that confident to introduce himself and I also share with him that my condition is also the same as his like my heartbeat was racing and legs was completely shivering due to just that 1 to the 2-sec introduction and I very hardly able to speak and shared my introduction.

So that was my one experience and there is a lot of experience like that where I was completely blank out while speaking in front of some small crowd of people. So you guys maybe think why I am sharing this. What is the reason for sharing? So there is a strong connection of these experience with my that AMAL experience which I am going share now. And I think that one experience is a completely life-changing experience for me.

That was my one on one session with my Project Manager and also my mentor Mam Umey Aimen. That session was also such dual in a very hurry because that time slot is allotted to another fellow but she wasn’t able to attend that meeting so I request her to give that to me. But I wasn’t that prepared for that session. The only thing I know was that in that session I have to be very open and very honest while sharing anything. So I attended that session and Mam Aimen started the discussion by asking me that I need to be open and be confident while sharing anything. I don’t need to be shy to share anything. That gives me encouragement for sharing my thoughts with her. So I share my personal information with her without any hesitation, my goals, and my experience of this whole fellowship.

In the end, Mam Aimen asked me to share anything I want. I was so relaxed and so peaceful during that whole session and this opportunity was the time to share all the thoughts I have in my mind. So I shared my experience with my fellows how I was able to make them motivated towards this fellowship like one to two fellows who were going to leave the fellowship just because of some minute issues that were happing with them. But I try my best to show them a right in such a situation and give them advice on how to tackle these problems and how to overcome the challenges rather than leaving them. And the reason why I do because I believe that we all people are made for each other. We people make this society around ourselves and we are connected in one way or another. We are all “WAEELA” for each other. So we have to fulfill that responsibility of becoming a WASEELA to another person because this responsibility is assigned to us by ALLAH and it has no doubt reward from ALLAH.

When I share my viewpoints on that and place my discussion inform of my mam, she does not listen to me carefully but when I complete my discussion she gave a very warm appreciation because of the thoughts I have on this topic and the words shared that were completely impressive. She also shared that she also learned a lot from my thoughts regarding that topic. So that was the first amazing thing that happens with and I was not believing what I was hearing but it was true what I heard. The reason is that I never think that my words are so impactful that they will impact on such a level. I never imagine that. So moving next, she along with praising my words, gave me another very big responsibility to me and that was an opportunity for me towards my first change. That responsibility was to share these all thoughts in front of the whole batch and motivate them so that they also start thinking the same as me regarding that whole peer-to-peer to help and support.

So very next day, there was our first session of that week and I was going to present my discussion in front of my whole batch of fellows. Actually, before that session and after that one on one session I was so surprised and also nervous about that honor that was given to me by my Mam because I never experience such things and especially on such a level. So I was so nervous before starting my discussion. But I planned how I am going to present that whole discussion. But before calling me for discussion, there was a section of the session in which my PA shared the name of the person who has the most thoughtful projects. So I wasn’t expecting any such type of things that day but guess what, my Resume on that project work got the award of the most thoughtful project. Like I again dive into the sea of doubts whether all this is happening is real or not. But it was all reality which I was experiencing. So right after that Mam Aimen call me to ask the fellows that Hamza wants to share something with his fellows and then I got the floor after.

I only have just one thought at that time while delivering my thoughts on the topic and that one thought was that “If my words were that much able to create any impact my Mam then why can’t these words able to create that same impact with my fellows” and that thought helped me so much to deliver everything in the very ordered way because I was so nervous while sharing all that. The reason for that nervousness was that I mostly think that my arguments, my thoughts are not that much strong through which I can create any change in another person. But I continued with that same thought I have in mind during the whole discussion. And the main thing I try to deliver through this whole discussion was:

• What is a peer to peer learning
• What makes peer-peer learning strong
  Nonjudgmental, Husne Zun
• What is that thing which doesn’t have any alternative
  Example of Hadrat Khadija and the first verse
• We are WASEELA to each other
• Try to become a WASEELA for every fellow

After that whole discussion, I also conduct an activity with fellows and that activity was to drop a message to their fellows asking them if they need any help, and all the fellows show a very good response that was also very encouraging for me.

So that was all my thoughts and my words. And I was not thinking that I will be going make any difference because I never experience where my thoughts my words make any difference and someone changes himself just because of my right words and true thoughts. But I was wrong in that because after that session ends I received a message from my fellow from the previous group. She was also facing issues with her mega-project group but she shared that due to my discussion during the session, her circle members change their behavior with her very much and they now start asking her for help. And I again didn’t believe how that everything happens. Like it was just worded just a few words that I shared in just 10 min and they created so much impact on my fellows. That was no doubt unbelievable for a person like me who once feared to share his introduction in front of his whole class and now what he is doing now changing people with his words and thoughts.

This experience is not one experience it was a chain of the number of experiences in which I experience wonderful things in my life. I was considering it all just a dream and that’s It was hard for me to believe because I had experienced such things only in imagination and in dreams. But I never expected that a day will come when I can create change in any person but this whole experience makes me so much strength in that thing and now I think that I have that ability to make a change in this society through my words through my actions and my thoughts.

I always wanted to make myself different from other people. I always look for change and I always create change around myself also. I wanted to stand out among other people who are just living their lives without making any difference in society. But this whole experience makes me think that I can create that change in society and I will try my best to do that. I do not doubt that I always have at least some people around me who will support me through this challenge and this confidence is only given to me by AMAL. So I end my discussion by saying Thank you so much AMAL for being here and becoming a minaret of light in the time of utter darkness.